Wally World Madness
by DopeyTheChosen1
Summary: I'm stuck in walmart in the dead of night with the hellsing manga characters. i really want some ideas, cuz it's one of those that i update when i'm bored. WARNING! now that i have read thru most of vol.9 future walter bashers may arise...ARGH! THAT SOB!
1. Hey, You're Really Real

I do not own hellsing and this story is general because it can explode in any direction at this point. It's another story where if I get requests I'll use them, but if not then I'll just head off in my own direction. And Janet will be glad to know that I'm over Alucard and have moved on to Schrödinger-kun! … or maybe she won't, I just thought she would because we got into an argument over who's better (not those two exacty, but ALUCHAN was involved, and she got angry so maybe she'll be happy now.)…I doubt it though.

-H-

CHAPTER ONE: HEY, YOU'RE REALLY REAL

I had no idea why I was in Wal-Mart, all alone, after dark. It just happened. One minute I'm at home typing up something or other (I do that a lot) and the next I'm in the biggest store in town. Weird, isn't it? If anyone can explain this thing to me and let me know how the heck I got here, that would be great. And if you can't, then you're a loser. Anyone who cannot understand the basics of teleportation is a loser…wait…

The Giver disturbs me. You should read it. Everyone should have to read that book before they are Released!...sorry, using slang from the book. AHEM. Let me get back on track here…

There we go! I was somewhere in Wal-Mart, all alone, wearing a black shirt with the Hellsing logo on the front, and Alucard's grin on the back with the words, "BITE ME." I didn't mean it. No one bite me. I don't want to be bitten which is why I don't mean it and no one should bite me. Why is someone one word and no one two? Nothing makes sense anymore!

Anyhoo, I was walking around, enjoying me freedom and . . . aloneness…when I spotted a CD I wanted. I don't remember the name of the CD or anything like that; all I knew is that I wanted it. So I wanted to check how much money I had…I was broke…too bad, oh well. That's what you expected me to say, huh? Well, so did I, but for some reason I really needed that CD, so I decided to go mooch of some stranger. I ran down a random aisle, and crashed into some person.

"Hey," I said, very impolite I know, I get that all the time. "You have ten bucks? It's sort of an emergen—what the heck?" I think my heart skipped about fifteen beats or so…so I, like, died. But the great WILL OF THE UNIVERSE got me confused with Excel and brought me back to life. "What the HELL monkeys are you doing here?"

I bet you already guessed who it was, and if you didn't than you are STUPID. It was none other than Alucard himself…I have no idea WHY he was in the toothbrush aisle though. I was suddenly aware of my shirt, and made a note to change it after I got my ten bucks…if I got my ten bucks.

"What are YOU doing here?" He countered. Jerk.

"I need ten bucks." Uh-oh. I think he noticed the logo on my shirt. "And my shirt has nothing to do with anyone. Do you have ten dollars?"

"Why are you wearing that?" He asked. CRAP. He was trying to see the back of it. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"WHY WHY WHY," I mimicked. "Is that all you can s—" he grabbed my shoulders and twirled me around. "You didn't have to do that. You just had to ask to see the back and I would have glad—"

He was about to open my mouth, but I decided that this was the best time to attack so I ducked under his arms and hugged him around the waste. "HEEEYYYY…" I laughed. "You're really real."

"Of courser I'm really real," he said, shoving me off. "What did you think I was? Some stupid manga character?"

"Uh…actually…" In order to avoid an awkward situation, I decided to see if I could get him mad. "Uh…" I was sort of acting weird, so don't blame me for my actions. I did that Nazi salute thing, poking his eyes as I did so. "Hail—oh shit, don't kill me!'

I took off running, and discovered that Alucard didn't like Nazis… either that or he was mad about me shoving my long-nailed fingers in his eyes. Oh well, he'll regenerate himself, right? But then he'd kill me anyway, so I'm dead. Running around aimlessly, I crashed into the very person I most wanted to see at that moment—Sir Integra! Yay! Safetyness…fullness… whatever, I was safe!

"Hey, Sir Integra, Alucard seems to be very mad at me for some reason and now I think he's gonna blow my head off and I ain't a werewolf, so that may be a problem, as I don't think I could live without a head so could you, like, call him off or something?" Wow, big sentence. I've seen better though. BIG SENTENCE CONTEST! PUT IN YOUR REVIEWS AND THE PERSON WITH THE LONGEST SENTENCE CAN MAKE A REQUEST AND _I WILL DO IT_! IT CAN'T BE ANYTHING NASTY THOUGH, I DON'T DO ANYTHING NASTY…WELL, IT CAN BE BLOOD AND GUTS NASTY, BUT NOT SEX NASTY, OKAY?

Please enter!

At first I didn't think Integra was going to do anything first, but when Alucard came into view I took off behind her and then I heard a WUMP and I guess that Sir Hellsing had come through after all! She had stuck out her arm and Alucard crashed into it, idiom, and fell down. Yay! Safe again!

"Thanks," I said, backing away from Alucard. "Hey... Pip isn't here, is he?"

"Why do you want to know?" The vampire growled. I tucked on his hair. "He's probably messing around with the locks at the video games."

"Ah, maybe he can teach me a thing or two," I said and headed off that way.

As predicted, Captain Bernadette was trying to insert something into a lock on the PS3 games… it didn't look like he was having very much success. "Bon jour!" I said, waving. He turned to me, smiling, and said something in French. "Riiiight… I have NO idea what you just said."

"Most people don't," He said. He had a funny accent.

"Hey, hey, hey!" I said, jumping up and down. This happens whenever I get an idea. "Can you say, 'You're mother was a hamster and you're father smelt of elderberries' for me?"

"Eh, You're mozer was a hamster and you're fazzer smelt of eldaberries." He mimicked after a hesitation. "Why?"

"Oh, no reason," I tried to control my laughter, I really did! But I couldn't so I burst out laughing. "Sorry," I apologized after getting control of myself. "Well, I better go see if I can find some money, nice meeting you! Oh yeah, if you can get that thing open, grab me a copy of 'Lair', will you?"

"Sure," He said.

My mind was telling me this was a dream, so I wasn't too surprised when the next person I ran into wore a swastika. He was none other than the werewolf Schrodinger.

I didn't hesitate to hug him, as he was my new manga/anime crush. He looked a little surprised at first, but hugged me back.

"You're so much CUTER in real life!" I said, pulling away. "But still, you're a deranged sicko called a Nazi!" After saying that I kicked him 'low' and he sort of…died.

"Vhat did you do that for?" He groaned. "I didn't do anything."

"You know what that represents?" I asked, pointing at the swastika. "That is disgusting! So nasty, that it makes me sick! I'm sure it makes a lot of people sick. Hitler makes almost everyone sick!"

"Hitler?"

"What?" I asked in shock. "You don't know anything about HITLER?"

--

So…let me know what's gonna happen next. And more contests will follow. GOOD LUCK!

--

Next Chapter: Revert, Convert, whatever, he's on our side now!


	2. Reverted, Converted, Whatever!

OMG! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!! This had been such a success! I've had like six reviews and I've had it up for about two days or something! Yayayayay! Me sos happys!

But still, I have to lay down some rules. This is the order of owner ship when it comes to hellsing guys:

DopeyTheChosen1's Boys:

Alucard

Schrodinger

Luke

Tomo Zabac's Boys:

Anderson

Pip

Jan

Okay? Now that that's figured out, on with the story!!

(we don't OWN them when it comes to copyright stuff)

CHAPTER TWO: REVERTED, CONVERTED, WHATEVER! ALL THAT MATTERS IS THE FACT THAT HE'S ON OUR SIDE NOW!

-

So, here I was, preparing to educate a Nazi on Hitler. Wtf! It makes you wonder what goes on in his tiny little head… either that or you wonder what goes on in MY tiny little head. It's okay, admit it, I'm used to it.

"Okay," I said, pacing back and forth. "Nazi… You don't know anything about Hitler, the guy who made up this whole Nazi trend, so I'm gonna educate you. Adolf Hitler was the guy who—"

"I thought you were gonna educate me on Hitler. Is Adolf Hitler his cousin?" Schrodinger asked.

"NO! Adolf is his first name, everyone just calls him by his last name! Jeeze! Anyway, he was the guy responsible for the murder of millions of innocent people! He was crazy! He wanted to rule the whole world."

"Like ve do."

"Yeah, but you really do? If your boss rules the whole world, he'll rule you, too."

"Oh, damn."

"Anyway, and he was a real coward too. When the Americans were coming to get him, he shot himself at the last second."

"Americans?"

"Yeah," I raised an eyebrow. "A-Mer-E-Cans. Me, where you are now."

"I'm in an American?"

"No, you're in AmericA."

"Oh,"

"Do you get anything of what I'm saying?"

"That this Hitler guy vho started the Nazi foundation was a real sicko ass."

"EXACTLY! And how doest that make you feel?" I thought I was really on the verge of a breakthrough.

The werewolf shrugged. "Indifferent."

"WHAT!??!" I couldn't help myself. I exploded on the poor guy. That was the longest lecture of my LIFE, and he didn't give a damn! "THAT WAS THE LONGEST LECTURE OF MY LIFE AND YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN!? BESIDES THAT FACT, YOU SHOULD BE DISGUSTED WITH YOURSELF!"

"I…I…" I backed off. It looked like the guy was going to cry. That would be a first. He hung his head and murmured, "I am ashamed."

"Well, like hell yeah!" I cheered. "So, you gonna give up being a Nazi?" Okay, so maybe I DIDN'T back off.

"YUP!" Good, he wasn't crying after all. Ripping of his swastika he threw it on the ground and stomped on it.

"GOOD CALL!" I yelled, giving him the thumbs up.

I was about to hug him again, but snapped out of it when I heard gun fire, so instead we totally missed each other and fell to the ground.

"Give you one guess," Schrödinger shrugged.

"Alucard," I said and we followed the sound of the gun.

-H-

"Lovely," I said with sarcasm. "You fire, what, three shots, and you cover half the store in blood," I patted him on the arm, said, "Good job, diphead," and jumped away as he tried to bite me.

"Not my fault," the vampire shrugged, then his eye seemed to twitch when he noticed my new friend. "WHAT is HE doing HERE?"

"Oh, yeah, I reverted him to our side."

"I think you mean CONverted," Integra said.

"Reverted, converted, whatever! All that matters is the fact that he's on our side now! What were you shooting at anyway?"

"That…thing over there," the vampire said, pointing to a very much mangled pile on the floor.

"Oh well," I shrugged. "I don't think that's anything to worry about."

-H-

It was some time later that we realized the Wal-mart was deserted. Which was cool in my book. We were causing total havoc in there—running around, sliding on the floor. We even hooked up a garden hose to a faucet in the bathroom and got a slip-n-slide going. Yes, I know, we were all dead in the morning. But who cares? As long as we could get out before then, huzzah! Huzzah!

"Man," Pip whined after going on the slip-n-slide. "I got my uniform soaked."

"We're in a freakin' store, dill head," I said, rolling my eyes. "You could have jacked a pair of shorts, you know." That's what I had done. I grabbed a swim top and a pair of shorts. Both black because it was winter then and they didn't have anything else in stock.

"Oh no you don't," I said, backhanding Alucard as he was trying to spray a canister of carbon dioxide on everything. "That's the stuff that makes everything with water on it freeze, right?"

"Eh…maybe."

After he went away, I ran and slid into the warm water. Warm? Before it had been HOT. That must mean that the water heater is running out of energy or something, I thought as I lay in a kiddy pool that was hooked up also. Suddenly, the water was freezing cold! My first thought was that Alucard had something to do with it.

Following the hose to the guys' bathroom, I opened the door to see that the water had indeed been switched around to cold. But who would've done it? Alucard wanted to freeze us, not make us freeze. Wait…whatever, you know what I mean right?

"Hey!" Someone yelled at me. Turning around I saw Pip in the doorway. "What did you do? The water's all cold!"

"What? You didn't notice that before?" I asked, eyebrow raised.

"Well, I was getting these shorts, Integra was nowhere to be seen, Alucard and Seras are vampires, so they wouldn't feel it," he said, counting off the names on his fingers. "Why do I feel like I'm forgetting someone?"

"Poochy."

"Who?"

"Schrodinger."

"Oh yeah, the Nazi kid is in the pet aisle raiding the dog food supply. So I don't think that it was any of us."

"But that would mean that someone else is in the store!"

"Yeah…" Pip thought a minute.

"Don't waste time," I said as I ran off to find Integra. "Thinking isn't one of your strengths."

After searching about half the store for Sir Hellsing, and not finding her anywhere, I decided what the hell. We probably just used up all the hot water or something. Coming down the pet isle I was welcomed with a shower of dog food that got all over me.

"Thank you," I muttered to Schrodinger. "Do you know anything about what's been going on here? The water's ice-cold. I think someone's been messing with us."

"Oh yeah!" Schrodinger's ears went up. "I remember now! I saw some other guy in the toy section of the store!"

"And you didn't tell me that earlier?"

"Apparently not," the werewolf returned to the shelf he was going through. "I didn't think it was wery important, this store is public, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah, it is…BUT WE'RE HERE AFTER HOURS, DILLHEAD!"

"Oh…"

"C'mon, Poochy," I said, grabbing his hand. "Show me where you saw him."

Schrodinger led me in a beeline through the store until we came to the toy area. Though we couldn't see anyone from our hideout behind the legos and bionicles, we could see a shadow moving in the only aisle that was pink. So my first instinct told me there was a girl messing around with us.

"You ready to move in?" I whispered. Schrodinger nodded. He went to one end of the aisle and I went to the other. Moving towards each other, I thought we almost had the mysterious figure captured when—My feet decided to slip on a wet patch of blood and send me crashing into the comic books.

"CRAAAAAAAAP!" I tried to regain my balance but the blood was everywhere so I kept on slipping. It's sort of like those little kid movies where the bad guy gets trapped in a pile of syrup or marbles or something and they can't move.

Though it wasn't planned, it sidetracted the mysterious person(s) and gave the werewolf a chance to jump on him/her/it.

The two were wrestling around when I finally got back up, so I decided that I had better break it up and see who we were dealing with. I started grabbing random barbie dolls off the shelves and chucked them at the combatants. Schrodinger got the hint and decided to get away, but slipped on some MORE blood.

"AHAHAHAHA!" I jumped when I grabbed a tickle me elmo doll. I quickly discarded it and saw that Schrodinger had gotten away. Now I could see who it was.

"Oh my GOD," I whined. "What the FUCK are YOU doing here?"

It was none other than Alexander Anderson of the Vatican Section XIII Iscariot.

Okay, there you go. Now I thought I'd mention what my character looks like. She actually looks just like me, tall, thin (I mean as in fit, not skinny) with blue eyes and short blonde hair. Oh, and if my skin was any paler I would be see through. I don't tan, I burn. I'm like the whitest kid in my class…on day this tan kid named Harley came up behind me playing 'White And Nerdy' on his iPod and put the earbuds in my ears.

Oh oh oh, aannnddd sorry if i didn't get any of the accents right, i'm too lazy to go through it and fix them. use your imagination.


	3. imitator, is that spelled right?

OOOOOOOMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGG!!! I can't believe how long it's been since I last updated! Some things to set you straight: In this I claim that Hellsing is my favorite manga, but not my favorite anime. THIS IS NOT TRUE. I wrote most of this BEFORE I watched the TV series, read all eight volumes (as that was the only number available at the time, I also read most of volume nine ATU-BOTI), and watched 3 volumes of Hellsing ultimate.

SOOOOOOOOOO...as Janet will tell you…there may be a lot of Walter Bashing in future chapters…I'm sorry…I just…argh! (shoots walter) You bastard that's what you get for ------------------ Hellsing!...yeah…this ----------- is like…a sensor or something…dinnae want to spoil anythin' for those of ye who haven't read the manga, now do ah'?

And for this…one a scale of 1 (worst) and 5 (best) how is my Anderson accent? Did I get it right? I tried…(shrugged). I'm not doing that anymore…writing his accent in…instead I write it in English and have Janet rewrite it in Andersonese…and I'm debating between putting in references to The Black Cross…so…let me know if you want me to do that or not…the majority rules…usually…

So…sorry for the long note…It's more of a letter actually…anyhoo, here's Wally World Madness, Chapter Three: Imitator.

(and for the record I am no longer obsessing over Schrodinger…now it's all about Tubalcain-kun and Alucard-sama…Alucard still being numero uno!)

----T H E F I R S T O F M A N Y R A N D O M S P A C E R S----

Running away screaming isn't as easy as it looks. First off, you have to breathe through your nose instead of your mouth because you're screaming. And if your mouth is clogged up it can be a very nasty experience. But luckily my nose WASN'T clogged up, so instead I ran away screaming into some random aisle and was very much surprised when a bunch of magnets glued themselves to my braces.

"Ow," I whimpered as I pulled them off. I felt my braces all screwed up. Luckily my dentist wasn't too far from walmart so I could get them fixed later. That's when I heard a loud creaking and looked up. One of those big, metal and magnetic knife racks was toppling off of the shelf right at me.

This is the part of the story where I do a cosplay of the common part of the movie where the character just stands there, looking up and on the verge of tears, as the big-ass boulder falls on them.

---BLACK---OUT---

"Are you alright?" I looked up to see a black haired girl staring down at me. "Your face isn't doing too good."

"Hn," I sat up, feeling blood run down my face. "SHIIIIIIIIIT!" I laughed after that, causing my mangled braces to cut my face up some more. "AAHAHAowHAHAHAowAHAHAowHAHAHAowAHAHAHA!"

"What are you laughing about?" Tomo asked. She was the black haired girl who had taken the knife thing off of me. She had long black hair and brown eyes. I recognized her as Tomo Zabac from one of my friend's final fantasy fanfics.

"Nothing," I said. Then I rewrote the story, leaving out the part where I got my face destroyed. "There! Good as new!"

"Riiight…No comment," Tomo said in monotone. "Here, this is from Janet," She handed me a folded note. "She wants you to meet her by the bathrooms at the front of the store."

"Sure," I said. Then I ran off to find my friend.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0- (randomness spacers)

Upon arrival, I saw my best friend in the entire world, Janet. She's a bit (coughalotcough) shorter than me, with fluffy, light blonde hair that she always has in a pony tail. Today she was wearing a pair of blue jeans, a green and white striped shirt, and her signature purple/black fingerless gloves with the chains on them.

"Brother!" She opened her arms and ran at me.

"Brother!" I did the same (but ran at HER, not me).

We hugged each other, Janet whimpering as was custom (yyeeaahh…this is another inside joke ). Afterwards I asked her what was up. "Fun stuff," she replied. "Oh yeah! I saw Integra and Alucard…Is ANDERSON here?"

"Unfortunately, yes," I groaned and she smacked me. "OW!" I smacked her back. "It's not my fault he creeps me out!"

"Where is he?" She asked, shaking me and jumping up and down. Anderson was her favorite Hellsing character. She could imitate him perfectly. She did it on the phone millions of times, causing me to hang up on her without warning.

"Last time I saw him he was…in the PINK aisle."

"PINK??"

"Don't ask me—maybe he turned gay on you or something."

"Huh," We linked arms. "Let's go see him!"

"Oh GOD no." I pulled away. "He scares me too much."

"Sissy."

"…Fine…"

"Besides, I know you'll like what I have in mind."

spacer000000spacer………..what does it MEAN!?! .

Paladin Alexander Anderson was wandering around pointlessly, when he noticed a gleam out of the corner of his eye. "Ah, whit's this noo'?"

"Ah, whit's this noo'?"

"Whit?" He turned away from the knife and looked around. "Who said tha'?"

"Whit? Who said tha'?" It was a perfect echo of himself.

"Oh, shut up," I whispered, trying to hold in my laughter and nudging Janet. She and I were hiding in a stack of TV boxes and she was copying Anderson, talking through a megaphone. "You know he's gonna come in here tearing the boxes apart with those damn bayonets, right?"

"Ya' ah' know that." She said. Then we cracked up. About two seconds later the TVs got swept away by the bayonets.

"Whit are ya' doin' here?" The Father asked.

"Making fun o' ya'." Janet laughed as we ran away.

"Now what?" I asked when we were a safe distance away.

"Now, we make fun of YOUR guy."

"Now HE'LL kill us."

"Not if he can't find us.

--

Jane and I made our way to one of the areas that said "employees only". But it was the wrong one for what we had in mind. SO instead we tried another one. Same problem. SO we tried again and again and again. Eventually we found the right one. As we walked up the stairs, Janet said, "Ever notice how it's always in the last place you look?"

"Well, duh, why would you keep looking if you've already found it? Don't be such a Laguna," I said as she tripped. "I think I jinxed you."

We made it to the top of the stairs and there were only two doors and since one of them was marked "CRAPPER-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK. WAL MART IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR LOSS OF SIGHT, SCENT, SANITY, OR LIFE. THANK YOU, AND HAVE A GREAT DAY."

"Hey," I said in a very Irvine-like voice. "Let's go see what's in there…"

Janet yanked me back. "I may be a Laguna, but you have more Irvine in you than anything else."

I giggled like a moron and we went into the other door. "Yeah," I said between giggling fits. Why was I giggling so badly? "This is what we want…The intercom system."

"And look," Janet pointed to a big screen that showed the parking lot. "I think we can change this around and follow where he goes…no, this is just a DVD player…hey, do you have any DVDs with you?"

"Hey, stay on track!" I said, shoving her. "We can just use these screens over here. See? There's a bunch on all of them…hm…oops. Looks like the water's run out completely."

"Good thing Wally World is shut for the holidays, huh?" Janet asked as she experimented with the screens.

"Today is a holiday?" I asked. "Which one?"

"Christmas."

"WHAT?! I'm stuck in fucking walmart on FREAKIN CHRISMAS?!"

"Hey, you're stuck in walmart on Christmas WITH THE CHARACTERS OF YOUR FAVORITE ANIME."

"Favorite MANGA," I said, punching her. "I haven't watched the anime except for that one episode you showed me."

"Here's what I want," Janet said, then laughed into the microphone on the table. "NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK!"

_NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK! _Her voice echoed around the store.

"Sweet…" I grinned. "You gonna freak Alucard out?"

"Maybe," she said in her Anderson impersonation. "There he is, see?"

"Hunting aisle, go figure."

"He goes hunting?"

"No."

"Then why is he there?"

"The GUNS! THE GUNS!"

"Guns?"

"OMIGODYOUARESUCHAIDIOTYOUFREAKINMORON!...Forget it." I said. "Just do your thing."

"Hello? Hello? Is this thing oon?" She asked into the mic using her Anderson impersonation. "Ah' see you, vampire."

We watched and giggled as Alucard looked up in confusion. We saw his mouth moving, but couldn't here what he was saying. "Dang it," I said. "We can see his mouth moving, but I wish we could hear what he was saying."

"SH!" Janet hissed. "Be quiet you moron, this thing is on!" She turned her attention to a row of buttons by the mic. "Oh God, this is gonna be sweet. You can choose which part of the aisle you want the sound to come out of."

"How so?" I asked, watching Alucard look around for Anderson.

"Well, watch. You see that stack of Barbie Dolls? I'll make the sound come from there, savvy?"

"What the hell are you supposed to be? A pirate?"

Janet had turned her attention to tormenting Alucard again. "Here ah' am, vampire. Come an' get ma'." When Alucard swiped through the dolls, Janet loose with her Anderson laugh.

"I just realized something," I said as Janet's voice echoed throughout the aisle. "Why the hell are there BARBIE dolls in the HUNTING aisle?"

"…Target practice?"

"Maybe, but not likely, but it isn't important to the plot so—"

"Wait," Janet said, interrupting me. "This thing has a PLOT?"

"Sort of," I said, laughing nervously. "Ok…so no it don't. It's just something I update whenever I feel like it."

"I thought so, none of your stories have plots, do they?"

"HEY, BISH! MOST OF MY STORIES HAVE PLOTS! THE BLACK CROSS DOES, ALL OF MY FINAL FANTASY ONES DO, AND THE INUYASHA ONES DO! SO ACTUALLY, THIS MIGHT BE THE ONLY ONE WITHOUT A PLOT! RAWR!"

Janet blinked several times. Then laughed. "That may be the longest speech I've gotten out of you!"

"You should've heard the one I gave Schrodinger," I said, turning back to watch Alucard. "Uh, Janet? Where'd he go?"

"I dunno," She said, laughing. "But don't worry, there's no way he could find out that we're in the intercom system room thing."

I felt my face drain of color. My legs felt queasy. Had she actually just said that? Oh God…

"Janet…the intercom is on," I pointed out.

She looked to where I was pointing, and quickly took her finger off the button as if it would take back what she had said.

"We're screwed," I said, shrugging.

We heard footsteps coming up the stairs…a gun being loaded. The doorknob began to turn…

"You're the author of this, right?" Janet asked, shaking my face up and down, side to side. "You can rewrite that, can't you?"

"What?" I said as the door inched open. "And leave out all the suspense?"

"Suspense? This is a comedy! What do you mean suspense?"

"Like," I said as the door was swung wide open. "Do we live through this?"

---------this is against the point, but…-----

I'M WRITING THIS IN CALIFORNNIA RIGHT NOW, I'M ON A LONG TRIP AND WE HAVE SEEN THIS BUMPER STICKER:

MAL WART:

Your source for cheap, plastic crap.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

(this has nothing to do with this story, I'm just bored.)

----bbb----

the above thing about the bumper sticker was written FIVE MONTHS AGO during a two week trip to the grand canyon…I think…or was it from last year's trip to Yellowstone?! (gasp!) ah well…meh…if you have any ideas for this, lemme know. Credit to those who give me some!

…

…

…

I can't believe it's been so long since I've done this….and you know, the other day janet told me something that i got wrong about tomo's appearance..i think it was sumthin' about her eyes...i don't remember tho..oh well, leave me a review, janet, if you catch it! and if any of you are my friends (since i have to know what you're like) and you want to be in this, leave me a review! and DON'T message me...this thing is screwed up and i don't get alerts anymore...so...use my email instead. ( )

------spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacer!someone give me an idea for a spacer...i used to use -DORK- on the inuyasha fics ... but ... yeah...and + don't show up...(so you can't see it right now, lol) yeah..sorry about the notes..they have nothing to do with anything..i'm just 'posed to be doing homework but i don't wanna...(hides under bed) math is scarryyyy!!!!

P O L E:

alucardXintegra or alucardXseras?

Oh, and I don't think that Anderson is janet's fav character anymore…now she's obsessed with Pip…

And a small rant about Hellsing ultimate volume III: Somehow…somehow Pip's accent was taken from him…and given to the nazi's! whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat the heck?!!?

Please review!

…fanfiction is so slow on my computer…(yawn)…doo doo doo…(is waiting for fanfiction to load so she can update! And I already gave you a description of my character, right? She looks just like me…though now I'm SKINNY! Whoo! Thank you cross country! Meh..but it's over so I'll probably have my normal belly back in no time...poo…)


End file.
